


The Best Laid Plans

by Nexas_Hart



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, DCU, DCU (Comics), The Batman (Cartoon 2004)
Genre: Common Sense is a Superpower, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:09:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28737783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nexas_Hart/pseuds/Nexas_Hart
Summary: I like my job. It's my way of preventing crime before it happens.
Relationships: Jim Gordon & Original Character(s), Original Character(s) & Original Character(s)
Kudos: 9





	The Best Laid Plans

**Author's Note:**

> I'd be surprised if this wasn't a job in Gotham and other parts of the world.

Ever heard of event planners? Of course, you have. They’re pretty common. You can think of me as something like that, just with a slightly different job.

“An art display? With an entire cat themed exhibit? Are asking for Catwoman to rob you blind?”

Gotham is a place rife with crime. Every single high-profile event has the possibility of being attacked by one of the countless rogues that frequent the city. It’s not my job to plan the events. Nope, I’m more of an event filterer. I review the plans, and put a kibosh on anything that’s going to blatantly attract the attention of any of the more… unconventional villains.

“Yes,” I sigh. “That also includes the bird section. You might be able to show a few of the less expensive items, but anything avian with jewels will just draw in the Penguin.” I pause for a few moments as I listen to the other line. “Alright, fine. Don’t take my advice. You don’t have to. Not like I’m the police or anything. Hell, you might still get robbed by some of the smalltime crooks that frequent the city. I just seem to notice that when they don’t have a colorful schtick to go along with their crime, the collateral damage tends to be a lot less. It’ll probably cost a hell of a lot less on your part if half of the center where your stuff is being shown isn’t blown up or melted or destroyed by a giant bird… Yes, it has happened before, check the news before you come into the city please.”

***

“Seriously. I mean, seriously. You want to have a circus themed party? Not only is that one of the dumbest themes for any party outside of a children’s birthday, but you are basically inviting the Joker to make a special guest appearance. You should’ve thought that through a little more.” My temper starts to flare up when the person on the other end starts raising their voice. “Don’t get snippy with me just because you don’t consider your planning in a city where a man goes by the moniker of the ‘Clown Prince of Crime.’ If you go through with this, I’ll be giving you an ‘I told you so’ along with my bill.”

After my client hangs up on that delightful conversation, I just sit back in my chair and rub my temples. Seriously, there’s eccentric, and then there’s just plain stupid. I pick up the phone again and dial another number.

“Hello,” I breathe out in exasperation. “Commissioner Gordan. Just thought I’d give you a heads up on a possible Joker sighting in the near future… Yeah, someone thinks it’s a good idea to throw a clown-based masquerade party… I told them how dumb it was, but I don’t know if they’ll take my advice. They’re not from around here, you know how some of them are… No problem. Tell Barbara I said hi.”

***

“No, sir, I think your antique snow cone maker is safe from Mr. Freeze. He might like things cold, but he usually only robs things like gold, diamonds, and advanced tech. Still, I’d still strongly recommend you have at least a few well-trained guards for your event. You never know what sort of people would have an interest in it, as well as some of the other items on display. I could give you a few recommendations if you’d like. Trustworthy companies, that don’t cost too much… Okay, that’s no problem… Of course, I would love to attend. Thank you.”


End file.
